If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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