You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
