There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
More tranny stories later!
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
