dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize