I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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