Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
