i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
