I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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