dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
