Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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