My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
