I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
