I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
