his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
