Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
