SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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