a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I CAN MOONWALK!
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
