You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
