Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
It's blow job season.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
