ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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