I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
