and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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