I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
