I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
