Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
