there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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