Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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