What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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