Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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