id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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