Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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