I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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