listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I forget how to act sober
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
