There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
