I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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