i don't like sucking hair
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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