I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
either way he was missing a nipple.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
