did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize