I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
