I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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