is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
