mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
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