I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
