I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
