I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
