it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
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