The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize