Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
