new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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