someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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