you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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