You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize