Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
be right there i have to get my cape
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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