Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
