Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
