I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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