Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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