Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
