So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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