He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Randomize