I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize