these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Randomize
